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Bad night. Bad, bad night. Bad night, no cookie.

I need to set up a friends' filter on my writing journal. If for no other reason than so I don't sink back down into depression every time I read about... well. Those of you who know, know, and those of you who don't know I suspect don't need to. Suffice to say I was being wanky.

That and PMS. Everything's worse, somehow, right before my period. I never used to be this emotionally volatile. I don't know what the hell happened. But now I can tell, it's that time of the month again, right when the depression and the crying fits start to hit. Something to work on for the future, I guess. At least I got a good chunk of work on 'Different' done before the worst of it hit. The Idiot came over with his bratling and I spent the entire time hidden upstairs tap-tap-tapping away on my computer. Meh.

And then I came down, watched a little tv, ate a little dinner. And then I logged on and checked my writing friends' list (ever so much more extensive than this one, so I check it most often now) and my e-mail and got several blows to the already-cramping gut. So I went upstairs, had a good cry, attempted to get something done, failed miserably, and had a good nap.

Somehow I think that might be the cure to this, you know. Having a good cry and treating the whole bloody mess matter of factly. All right, I say to myself. Self, I say, You're feeling crappy because your body is in rebellion and because you're jealous. But, you and I, which is to say I and I, both know that there's no shortage of possibilities for you. You're good, you've got skill and talent, and all you need now is persistance. So finish your cry, go to bed, and then get up tomorrow and work hard again. Because tomorrow, the Goddess' gift to us all, is always another new and fresh day..

And I do feel better.

Plus, Seal on in the background and hugs from the boyfriend.

And hey, I'm almost half done on the first chunk of edits for different. If I'm very persistant and don't play Solitaire like a bad girl I'll have it done tomorrow night, and then I can add in all the stuff I meant to add in and start working on the query letter. Insert obligatory query letter rant here. And then... hmm. Well, February's projects are all planned out. I should post more stories to the 100 stories, 100 days project, but after the rather curt reception of the last few I'm loath to try it. Probably will anyway. It's good practice, and good to build calluses on the ego. And then... I guess I submit in March?

Goddess help me. I'm going to need it. Still. I have faith that She will.

Besides, it's the year of the monkey! It's an ass-picious year for me! And if you recognize that particular mangling of the world you get a tootsie roll prize.

"There, see how I'm not hitting him? I think I've grown."

I love my aunt. Not only did she send me the money for the book I should have gotten, she sent me extra for 'random stuff.' Did I mention I love my aunt? 'cause I do. Plus, found my checkbook so the cable bill is now in the mail, I am (relatively) debt done, and as soon as the snow clears from the roads I can go out, cash the check, and promptly spend it all at my local bookstore. Whee!

And I made a snowman today with the boyfriend! It's been so long since I made a snowman. Actually the snowman wound up looking first like a snow badger (badger badger badger badger) and then like a snow pig. So I drew a little on it and now I have a snow Raymond Watts.

Go figure.

Mmmm. Chili and cornbread for dinner, and now I'm all full and sleepy. But I still need to go upstairs and finish editing the damn story. Which I think I'll do after I finish this entry.

Except that I can't think of anything else to do with this entry.

And I'm about as hyper as notoucheehat

Bugger.