The Obligatory Periodic Political Post

If only it were this easy

1. Your ideal theoretical candidate. (100%)
2. Kucinich, Rep. Dennis, OH - Democrat (85%)
3. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (80%)
4. Clark, Retired General Wesley K., AR - Democrat
5. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (75%)
6. Socialist Candidate (70%)
7. Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (67%)
8. Kerry, Senator John, MA - Democrat (62%)
9. Lieberman, Senator Joe, CT - Democrat (42%)
10. LaRouche, Lyndon H. Jr. - Democrat (40%)
11. Libertarian Candidate (25%)
12. Bush, President George W. - Republican (14%)
13. Phillips, Howard - Constitution (5%)

HAH! Socialist candidate. Somehow that amuses the crap out of me.

Primaries month after next. Feh.

And while I'm doing pointless quizzes...


Which Typical Anti-Hero Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

(no subject)

NicDorcha: And now back to the genitalia. Which I may just scrap the whole fucking thing and rewrite it so that the sex is just implied and there's no genitalia. God I love to hate writing smut.
Nycteris66: heh
NicDorcha: *sighs* What would you do?
Nycteris66: not sure...
NicDorcha: Gargh. I don't want to use the scientific term, because there's something highly unerotic about the word 'penis.' And I don't want to use 'phallus' because it's all over Kushiel's Dart and I'm now sick of it. And I don't want to use 'cock'... although I may have to in sporadic points, because I've seen King use it.
Nycteris66: I hate 'phallus'
NicDorcha: It sounds like it should mean a dildo, but it doesn't.
Nycteris66: 'cock' might be best since King uses it

I'm serious. I ran into this problem when I dabbled in becoming a romance writer because I thought it would be easier than becoming a writer just from what I knew how to write. And then I realized that I couldn't write sex.

Clinical terms just fail to be erotic, at least for me. Terms like phallus make me thing of marble statues with penises that could serve a creative woman for a dildo. Cock is barely tolerable because at least it can be used for something I will tentatively call artistic grit. Peter, pecker, schlong, and Mr. Happy are right out. And describing anything as a shaft just makes me think of machinery.

The female anatomy suffers a similar fate. I can just barely make myself write 'clit.' Vagina makes me think of a gynecologist, and cold instruments put where cold instruments don't bloody go! Cunt makes me thing of hard-core femininsts, and while it too has the artistic grit flavor, hard-core feminism isn't what I want to be thinking of when I write a scene intended to make the reader sweat and breath faster and think of naughty things. Pussy makes me think of hurried sex in truck-stop bathrooms. Snatch makes me think of the film, any more. And if I ever manage to type the phrase 'velvety sheath of love' or any such similar without laughing maniacally...

Argh. And this is why I hate writing smut. I enjoy every moment of it right until it comes to the actual deed, and then I cower behind the black bar, or the fade out. So, for those of you who were wondering what the hell I was thinking, here is the beginning of the Dark Tower slash. The rest will come when I've determined an appropriate solution. And not at 3 in the morning.

( Marten/Roland )