"Fuck me, hold tight."

*yawn*

I'm on a series of weird kicks lately. Freddy/Nightmare on Elm Street, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Momentum (a SciFi Pictures Original starring an older and much handsomer Michael Massee, better known as Fun Boy from The Crow), the Sandman...

I dunno.

It's 3:30 in the morning, and that hour of night time when I know I should go to bed but I'm just having all these interesting thoughts and I have too much that I want to do before I go to bed. I really need to finish up the web page for my courtesan school (anyone want to join? I'm thinking of starting it up on LiveJournal) and write out some of these fics I wanted to. I did post my column for the week, after more procrastination than I like to admit.

I've been turning into such a bitch lately... or at least, such a hideously bitter, cynical misanthrope. I'm not sure why. I'm not this much a bitch in real life, probably largely because I make it a point not to be around people too much. I like my solitary time, a few hours alone each day. Granted, I'm not such a cynic that I'm a total recluse, but if I don't have some time to stand around or curl up on a bed and think quietly to myself about the horrible hideousness that is the human race...

Wow. I really am on a tear.

OOh. I should have made that my subject line. It's going in the next one. "When Gabriel blows his horn, I shall be playing the tuba."

Today's target: my boss's boss... at least I think that's the rank he holds at the company I now work with. I am going to kill him one of these days. Either that or I'm just going to beat the crap out of him the next time he tries to hi-five me out of some misplaced Office Spacean sense of teamwork and camraderie. And if he drops a 'Spanish' (more like Spanglish) comment one more time I will unleash such a hideous stream of cursing as I haven't heard since grade school. Which, funnily enough, is where I learned all my Spanish curses. Nothing like going home and asking your mom "Mom... what's a puta?"

More misanthropy, because dammit it's my journal and I'll bitch if I want to. And all of you creepy people who have so little lives that you'll read my journal and tell me I'm whining, you can just hie yourselves off and fuck yourselves up whatever orifices you please with a fifteen-inch black rubber cock. I don't give a damn.

This world is so very much going to hell in a handbasket. No one reads anymore. No one thinks anymore. Our thinking has been taken over by the few savvy politicians in office, or the heads of the church whose credibility hasn't been destroyed by the children they've molested. Our thought processes have been subsumed in television, Sponge Bob Square Pants, commercials, ESPN, reality shows, TLC and DSC, the history channel with its kitschy, one-hour presentations. The Hundred Years' war in a nutshell.

I wonder what the percentage of the population of, say, England, the US, France, Japan, and India is illiterate. I wonder if the rampant idiodicy is as rampant as I think it is or if the internet has just been taken over by the teenybopper asl i think u are c00l generation. I wonder if the rising trend towards irresponsible sex and inane behavior is the disease or the symptom. I wonder if maybe Swann isn't right, or if we're all just looking for something to distract us from our banality for a few minutes. Scary thought.

Okay, maybe this isn't misanthropy so much as exhaustion. I don't know. I wanted to make a difference, but suddenly I'm finding it so hard to do so. I am going to pursue this whole teaching goal, but I don't know how I'm going to do it. I guess it remains to be seen how much money I can/will make at this weird pyramid-scheme job type thing. It's so insane... and yet it might actually work. I don't understand what's going on anymore. But it's a job, it's a paycheck, and hopefully a good one.

Meanwhile, I need to get back with the writing. There's a game tomorrow, which will be fun if we can ever get people to show up. Pirate!John is coming down, but the Brothers of Silly apparently called or IMd and said they were going to be late. Go figure. So I guess it's just going to be me and my sailor boy and April and Pirate!John. Which really means that Pirate!John and I will bitch back and forth until the other players get there. At least he has a brain in his head.

Things to write:
1. Your Best Nightmare (thanks be to London After Midnight)
2. Twinned
3. (untitled vampire story)
4. The Madman and The Fair One
5. Another chapter in Understanding
6. Another chapter in In This Shattered Globe
7. Finish Yours Truly ... because it's about bloody time I did.

"Fuck me, hold tight," that's a lot of things to write. Oh well. Better get started tomorrow morning.

The Fandoms I Have Known meme

Stolen from almightyhat

Fandoms I Have Known

The one who seduced you and fucked you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it:

Lord of the Rings. I was a devoted fan from the time I was eight. And then you grew all these fan girls! And Orlando Bloom! You're still beautiful... but inside you're ugly, ugly like me. What happened? (sob, flee)

The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets:

Star Wars. Namely, Boba. Ah, my sweet bounty hunter, I do still adore thee. I'm not sure we're quite up to that nostalgic romp in the sheets, but we're getting there. And your ass is still as fine as ever. ;)

The mysterious dark gothy one with whom you used to sit up talking until 3 a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized she really was fucking crazy:

Buffy/Angel. I should never have fallen for the vampire slayer, much less the damn vampires. Spike, you whore, what the hell possessed you to pull all those crazy stunts? Stay away from me, I have a stake, a gun, and a torch, and I'm not afraid to use them.

The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you'd still really like to fuck again although you're relieved he doesn't actually live in town:

John Constantine, Hellblazer. John, you bastard, you never call anymore. You just breezed in and out of my life, taking all my energy and all my booze with you. Although we did have some good times in bed... call me?

The steady:

The Matrix. Agent Smith, I can always count on you to be there for me.

The ex:

Labyrinth. I adored you all those years ago, I was steady and constant and you were always there for me. Even now the dulcet sounds of your voice can still soothe my fevered brow. But ... it's just not there anymore. There's no more spark, and we've lost that lovin' feeling. I'll always have a place in my heart for you, deep down. But ... let's just be friends.

The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with:

The Dark Tower series. Really, anything by Stephen King with that certain someone in it. Flagg, I adore you... you're so sexy and so damn dangerous it ought to be illegal... but I know you're so unhealthy for me. I know that you'd as soon gut me as fuck me, but damn I still want your body anyway. I must remain strong.

The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at her and thinking, Her? How the hell did she land all these cool babes?:

Harry Potter, you bitch. I flirted with you and even dallied with you once upon a long long time ago, but now you're just dried up and strung out. You're such a whore, and I despise you for it.

The one your friend has fallen for like a ton of bricks and whom she keeps babbling to you about on the phone for hours, and you'd be happy for her except you just know it's going to end badly:

Horatio Hornblower. I don't understand.



EDIT: Uploaded another chapter of Understanding ...