Take me to the stable where you hold your dark horses

You're Morrigan. You aren't the kindest of the
Goddesses. You're the ruler of war and death.
Ravens resemble you're personality and you take
'pride in that'. I don't want to know what you
do on you're spare time...


What Celtic Goddess are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Like that surprises anyone. It'll be ... good gods. six years .. no, more than that. Seven years this Lammastide.

There's gotta be something rather sad and pathetic about a DJ that comprises mainly Quizes. But they're so addictive.

Well, it's that time of the month again. I know, you really wanted to know that. But.. ugh. It's not even that I feel that bad, it's more that... well, I ache. And I feel sticky. And I hate both. At least it looks like there isn't really oging to be anything going on until tomorrow, so I can take a bath and get some writing done and soak in a hot bubble bath and did I mention the hot bath I plan on taking? Ugh. Stupid uterus.

On the plus side.. giant LXG epic fic started. And hopefully I can convince the sailor we need to stop off at the library tomorrow before the usual Friday night revels. So many books I need to pick up and re-read, so little time. Not really. I read faster than a speeding pen. But still.. and then, too, hopefully we'll go see LXG again! Gods above and below, I adore that movie. Jason Flemyng, Tony Curran, and the fact that they had Dorian Gray in a comic book/movie as a ... well, character. That man has terrified me since I was a child. It's so cool.

Hrrm. Let's see. Things I need to work on tonight.

1. Understanding
2. Requiescat in Pace
3. Unnamed LXG fanfic involving the Morlocks.. I need a title for that.
4. The Little One
5. Something original. Dammit. Victorian lesbians, maybe, although I do need a plot. Something for them to do.

Oh finally. Damn PGA Golf tournament is finally off the damn TNT.. and Law & Order's on! Yay! I guess I'll go take my bath when it's over, 'cause a movie should be on by then. Ohh my aching uterus. Which, now that I've typed it twice, is starting to look like a constellation. Weirdness.

La de da. Understanding is turning into quite the epic... I think tonight will be devoted to working on it, and the web page I'm probably going to put it up on. Not sure if I'm actually going to write the third story in the 13 Ghosts series, though. The Little One, thankfully, will be a one-shot. And Understanding... oh ye gods. I need to write that, the sequels, the sidefics.. sooo much in that story to write. So little time. I do like the way the website's turning out, though. If only I had time enough to actually do the damn pictures.

Hrrm. For that matter, maybe I should do something similar for the pirate slash.. except that there's absolutely no decent pictures of pirates. Meh. Oh well.

Okay, tis very much bath time. Ta.

Fuck this woman shit

I want a hysterectomy and I want it now. No more of this menstrual cycle hormone weirdass woman crap. I'll keep the sex drive, the pussy, the hips, and the tits. That's it. You can take the womb, ovaries, and everything else. I don't want the cramps, the bloating, the mood swings, the bleeding, the stickiness, the excessive sweat, the BO, the headaches, the cramps, and the general menstrual cycle nastiness. Whoever designed the human body just had to be male because no woman would ever stick another woman with this kind of crap.

Sigh.

The good part is, I took a hot bath. It helped, a little. While I was in it. But now I'm out of it, and it sucks giant barbed dinosaur balls. My uterus hurts. That's such a weird thing to say, my uterus hurts. And worse, my psychotic roommate went into the bathroom just as I was finishing up talking to my boyfriend and didn't come out for 50 fucking minutes. He does this every morning. I swear, the man has Irritable Bowel Syndrome or something. It's creepy how much time he spends on the toilet. Either that or he's a narcoleptic. I don't get it. But the point is, I didn't get to take my bath until I was really hot and sticky. Dammit. Bastard.

What's kind of funny is that I and an unnamed friend who is several hundred miles away (and with whom I correspond almost daily, by instant message) are having our cycles at the same time. Today's discussion consisted largely of our writing habits, our stories, and how absolutely fucked up our bodies felt. I know women cycle togethre when they live in proximity, but can this happen over the internet? Funky. Maybe they should make a study.

Like that one that says masturbation reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Chee!

Here's another interesting fact that no one really knows but I figure I should spew it out anyway. This nameless friend and I have agreed that if we get to be... 40, was it, hon? And we're still (or again) single and we're bitter and we're not going to find anyone else, we're just going to run off and get civil unioned. And the funny part? I actually mean it.

Ok, so for those of you who are just tuning in, I'm bisexual. I have been for a while, I don't particularly feel any shame or guilt or pride or really anything about it, it's just a fact of life. Like having a D cup or a uterus that still hurts far too much godDAMMIT! I need an asprin. Or being latina or anything else. I'm bisexual, I happen to be attracted to girls as well as guys, sure. And right now I have a boyfriend, the latest and best in a long line of mostly-mistakes, two good lovers/... -friends. What do you use as the generic term for people who aren't your lovers but you're dating... boyfriends/girlfriends? Themfriends? I dunno. Anyway. Most of the people I've dated have been mistakes, I've had two... three ish... good dates. Two boyfriends (one of them puppy love best friend, ah well) and one girlfriend.

I actually kind of miss talking to her. We dropped out of contact when her family moved across the country when we were in high school. Bugger.

The point of all this rambling is that I'm having that weird phenomenon ... this is really going to suck. Honey, if this hurts, I honestly never meant it to. I'm just starting to think this is something I should get out before something weird happens... it didn't do anything bad the two times before I've noticed this, so... eh. This is just weird. Anyway. I'm having that weird phenomenon where I have a friend. The friend is a good friend, we've known each other for a few years. I suddenly realize that for the past x amoutn of time... few months, usually... I've been thinking of this friend as more than a friend.

It is at this point that the Jaguar-Kitty goes "Oh shit!" Because... now what? Half the time when this happens either I'm dating someone or they are. The other half of the time we're several hundred miles away and a relationship really isn't feasible. And I've had e-bloody-nough of long distance relationships. So now... I'm right at that point where it's sort of a nagging confusion in the back of my mind. I dont' have any urge to change anything... things just sort of changed all by their lonesome. It doesn't create any problems for me, and I don't want it to create any problems for her. It's just... weird.

I think the most depressing part of it is, I'm actually in an honest-to-Goddess happy relationship with my sailor boy. Happy at the point where I never thought I'd actually be this sort of happy, which is to say content. So unless something drastic or dire happens, nothing is going to come of this beyond this bizarre confessional entry, unless something does. That didn't make sense. Let's see if I can rephrase that. I'm not going to change my situation, I'm happy the way I am, there's just this... nagging wistfulness. And the 'If Someday.' And the knowledge that she is really a truly great friend.

If this hurts you, honey.. I don't know how you're going to respond to this. I never know how anyone's going to respond to this when I spring this on someone. But... I don't mean to hurt you. I just mean.. I guess to tell you, because we all know what happens when things like this don't get told.

.... okay, after that soul-pouring confessional now anything else I write seems like it's going to be anti-climactic, so I'll just sign off for the night.

And take some painkillers.

Stupid woman shit.