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Dec. 20th, 2020 01:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeI was wondering all last week why I was so tired all the time and why I felt so battered, it had been three weeks since Mikey died, hadn't it, and so on, and...
Well, no. I was wondering it a bit on Monday and then also Tuesday. And then on Tuesday it turned out the boy had had a really awful day at work so, well...
See, the thing is last week was spent getting legally married so I could get on the boy's health insurance. We haven't gotten married in eighteen years, um, mostly because of laziness. I looked it up online, it looked pretty easy enough, go to the registry office, go to the magistrate, go back to the registry office, go to the boy's hospital to show HR the certificate and get me on his insurance. And yet no. First the magistrate's office wasn't marrying people until February, then my Mom told my aunt and my aunt decided to inexplicably both solve my problem by offering to get ordained and then complain endlessly AND behind my back about having to do things I never asked her to do. Then I remembered we live down the street from a rock and roll vegas style wedding chapel so I called them up to see if they could do it. They could! Yay! Then my Mom decided she was going to send me flowers, when were we doing this? Wednesday! No, Thursday, because Tuesday night had been awful at work so there was a lot of quickly solidifying scheduling with the chapel and the aunt, who hemmed and hawed about taking half an hour out of her workday. And then my uncle decided to bring his fiddle and play wedding music. (NOT the traditional music thank god, a very nice Shetland wedding tune. In a rock 'n' roll chapel I feel like the usual march would have just been silly.) Of course because at the time I thought we were getting married on Wednesday I stayed up till 3am dyeing my hair and then I had to stay up after making all the relevant phone calls so I could take delivery of the flowers and it was supposed to be a quick run around of offices and signing a lot of papers and that was it.
It ended up being pretty sweet though. And now I have health insurance and the boy is SO in the habit of calling me his girlfriend (remember, 18 years) that he hasn't stopped, and it makes me laugh every time. So that was a better reason to be exhausted all last week but I am goddamn exhausted, it has only been two weeks since Mikey died, I am so, so tired of things being messy. Of there being problems we have to fix. Cats to take to the vet. Insurance to worry about. Physical therapy. Taxes next year are going to be an entire goddamn nightmare. I still have class, the whole last week was an endless cycle of sitting down trying to get classwork done and then getting pulled away by remembering the Open Enrollment deadline is next Monday or ... some bullshit.
I am so tired. Well, I'm less tired than I have been. I'm a bit less sad than I have been, although I still have moments when it's 2pm and I realize I haven't been nagged for wet food because there's no one to nag me. But gods above and below I really hope the next several weeks are quieter than the last two or three have been. I am so tired of messy. Of problems. I just want to study, write, and sleep. Sometimes clean. Take one cat to the vet one morning for one exam so he's in their system. That's it. If the boy and I have to quarantine because covid is spiking everywhere and he has covid positive patients, well, I've never moved my crap out of the guest room and the office so we can do that with half an hour's notice when he calls me before he leaves work. It'll suck, but all our appointments have been gone to, all our paperwork is in, we can do that.
I am so so so so tired. SO tired. Did I mention how tired I am? And at this point I'm wary about the upcoming week because oh god, is something going to happen that's going to make me more tired? Or do I get to get up, do some exercise, do my bass, put on a face of pretty colors and make with the hacker voice "I'm In" and get to code class? I just want to do that. For like six weeks. With only an occasional interruption to take Cassius to the vet or go grocery shopping. I would very much like that. Here's hoping.
Well, no. I was wondering it a bit on Monday and then also Tuesday. And then on Tuesday it turned out the boy had had a really awful day at work so, well...
See, the thing is last week was spent getting legally married so I could get on the boy's health insurance. We haven't gotten married in eighteen years, um, mostly because of laziness. I looked it up online, it looked pretty easy enough, go to the registry office, go to the magistrate, go back to the registry office, go to the boy's hospital to show HR the certificate and get me on his insurance. And yet no. First the magistrate's office wasn't marrying people until February, then my Mom told my aunt and my aunt decided to inexplicably both solve my problem by offering to get ordained and then complain endlessly AND behind my back about having to do things I never asked her to do. Then I remembered we live down the street from a rock and roll vegas style wedding chapel so I called them up to see if they could do it. They could! Yay! Then my Mom decided she was going to send me flowers, when were we doing this? Wednesday! No, Thursday, because Tuesday night had been awful at work so there was a lot of quickly solidifying scheduling with the chapel and the aunt, who hemmed and hawed about taking half an hour out of her workday. And then my uncle decided to bring his fiddle and play wedding music. (NOT the traditional music thank god, a very nice Shetland wedding tune. In a rock 'n' roll chapel I feel like the usual march would have just been silly.) Of course because at the time I thought we were getting married on Wednesday I stayed up till 3am dyeing my hair and then I had to stay up after making all the relevant phone calls so I could take delivery of the flowers and it was supposed to be a quick run around of offices and signing a lot of papers and that was it.
It ended up being pretty sweet though. And now I have health insurance and the boy is SO in the habit of calling me his girlfriend (remember, 18 years) that he hasn't stopped, and it makes me laugh every time. So that was a better reason to be exhausted all last week but I am goddamn exhausted, it has only been two weeks since Mikey died, I am so, so tired of things being messy. Of there being problems we have to fix. Cats to take to the vet. Insurance to worry about. Physical therapy. Taxes next year are going to be an entire goddamn nightmare. I still have class, the whole last week was an endless cycle of sitting down trying to get classwork done and then getting pulled away by remembering the Open Enrollment deadline is next Monday or ... some bullshit.
I am so tired. Well, I'm less tired than I have been. I'm a bit less sad than I have been, although I still have moments when it's 2pm and I realize I haven't been nagged for wet food because there's no one to nag me. But gods above and below I really hope the next several weeks are quieter than the last two or three have been. I am so tired of messy. Of problems. I just want to study, write, and sleep. Sometimes clean. Take one cat to the vet one morning for one exam so he's in their system. That's it. If the boy and I have to quarantine because covid is spiking everywhere and he has covid positive patients, well, I've never moved my crap out of the guest room and the office so we can do that with half an hour's notice when he calls me before he leaves work. It'll suck, but all our appointments have been gone to, all our paperwork is in, we can do that.
I am so so so so tired. SO tired. Did I mention how tired I am? And at this point I'm wary about the upcoming week because oh god, is something going to happen that's going to make me more tired? Or do I get to get up, do some exercise, do my bass, put on a face of pretty colors and make with the hacker voice "I'm In" and get to code class? I just want to do that. For like six weeks. With only an occasional interruption to take Cassius to the vet or go grocery shopping. I would very much like that. Here's hoping.