OC October Day 8 - Saudade
Oct. 8th, 2015 12:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeDay 8: Saudade
Saudade is an interesting bird in that when I wrote the story she appears in, I did it from the point of view of someone else, so we only see her from another's point of view. In this story she's a programmer who's become a program tester of a virtual environment and the AI that the environment was built around. She also has something like a crush on the AI, though it's less a schoolgirl style crush and more a professional idealization that she can help the AI become a real live human, or as much as the physical limitations involved allow. This part is well known, as she's not all that skilled at concealing her emotional responses and her intentions.
The part that is less well known is the part where she's also very acute about people, even if she has a hard time communicating what she sees or knows. Her communication skills are the main problem, she has a hard time controlling her emotions down to something more acceptable for social interaction and a more difficult time finding the right words for what she's thinking is going on, what she feels or what she senses. She did, to be fair, try to warn people about what she suspected was happening with the AI, but she had no way of knowing what type of action it would take and then how that would affect all of them.
It's hard for her to be around people and to communicate with them on a more than surface level, although she didn't have much of a problem learning the social niceties and she was always thought of in school and growing up as very intense, but generally normal. That intensity and feeling, though, is what kept her from any kind of serious relationship. She dabbled with the idea, but not much happened after she was able to pry herself away from a couple of over amorous boyfriends. She always had help with this from her female friends though, of which she does have several, most of them understanding about her disappearing into her work periodically. She has never had any kind of psychiatric or medical help, though; she's never sought it or felt she needed it.
There are times when she sees herself as a tragic figure in her own life, and there are times when she sees herself as overcoming adversity, and there are times when she looks around and thinks about what she's doing, trying to give the world a better understanding of humanity and what defines it, and is very pleased and grateful to be where she is. Most of the book takes place around one of those times. Well, most of the beginning, afterwards everyone's too stressed to feel much pleased or grateful.
Saudade is an interesting bird in that when I wrote the story she appears in, I did it from the point of view of someone else, so we only see her from another's point of view. In this story she's a programmer who's become a program tester of a virtual environment and the AI that the environment was built around. She also has something like a crush on the AI, though it's less a schoolgirl style crush and more a professional idealization that she can help the AI become a real live human, or as much as the physical limitations involved allow. This part is well known, as she's not all that skilled at concealing her emotional responses and her intentions.
The part that is less well known is the part where she's also very acute about people, even if she has a hard time communicating what she sees or knows. Her communication skills are the main problem, she has a hard time controlling her emotions down to something more acceptable for social interaction and a more difficult time finding the right words for what she's thinking is going on, what she feels or what she senses. She did, to be fair, try to warn people about what she suspected was happening with the AI, but she had no way of knowing what type of action it would take and then how that would affect all of them.
It's hard for her to be around people and to communicate with them on a more than surface level, although she didn't have much of a problem learning the social niceties and she was always thought of in school and growing up as very intense, but generally normal. That intensity and feeling, though, is what kept her from any kind of serious relationship. She dabbled with the idea, but not much happened after she was able to pry herself away from a couple of over amorous boyfriends. She always had help with this from her female friends though, of which she does have several, most of them understanding about her disappearing into her work periodically. She has never had any kind of psychiatric or medical help, though; she's never sought it or felt she needed it.
There are times when she sees herself as a tragic figure in her own life, and there are times when she sees herself as overcoming adversity, and there are times when she looks around and thinks about what she's doing, trying to give the world a better understanding of humanity and what defines it, and is very pleased and grateful to be where she is. Most of the book takes place around one of those times. Well, most of the beginning, afterwards everyone's too stressed to feel much pleased or grateful.