kittydesade: (ta-da!)
Jaguar ([personal profile] kittydesade) wrote2009-07-08 09:54 pm

[Fic] Bringing Up Baby 2: Baby's Revenge

Title: Bringing Up Baby 2: Baby's Revenge
Fandom: Burn Notice
Characters: Sam and Alan, Fi and Michael at the end
Word Count: 892
Rating: PG
Summary: Sam babysits.
A/N: Inspired by [livejournal.com profile] fanficrants


"See, I don't know how Mike eats this stuff day in and day out. Then again, just between you and me, I don't know how you can eat this stuff." Sam eyed the tins of baby formula with the kind of look he usually reserved for plastic-bag-in-a-box wine. "I mean, if I had a Mom like yours..."

Not that the baby was old enough to understand that. But just in time he realized that maybe Fiona might not want her son knowing about such things or thinking about women in that way quite so early. Of course the baby was staring at him as though he expected Sam to finish that sentence.

"I... probably wouldn't have wound up doing what I do for a living. You want a beer? No?"

Alan grabbed for the bottle anyway, and not his bottle, either. It was one thing to joke about feeding beer to a baby but he'd never been that crazy. Not in that way. Besides, Fiona would do some very unpleasant things to him involving his balls and a spool of razor wire if she caught him feeding beer to her son, and that was if he was lucky. To say nothing of what Mike would do to him. Or the baby's grandmother. Or...

"Right, see, this is my bottle," he held up the beer so the kid wouldn't be confused. "And this is your bottle." Warm baby formula. Yum. No, he wasn't going to take a drink to convince the baby to take it, that was strictly for suckers. "See? My bottle... your bottle."

At least the kid settled down. Sam tucked the baby on his knee, one hand on the kid's waist, and now it was time for him to enjoy his bottle. "See, what you gotta understand is, sometimes, your Mom and Dad just need their alone time. And by alone time, I don't always mean the kind of thing that brought you into our lives. I mean, your parents? They're working people. Gotta hold down jobs and everything."

He was warming to his topic, too. And his audience. Leaning back, one foot on the end table and baby tucked in one arm, he expounded on the difficulties of making a living when you were a former spy and a recovering pyromaniac. "... it's not like your Dad's not a nice guy, I mean, he's a swell guy. And he loves you... like nothing else, both your parents do. But he gets distracted sometimes. To be honest, I think he's still getting used to the idea of being a father. Your Mom, now... she just tore right into it. She may be a little crazy, but she knows where her heart is."

Alan found this fascinating. At least by the gurgling noises he made.

"And, you know. There are worse things in life than having a loving family. Yeah, a loving family that half the international espionage population want to either kill or recruit, and a grandma who..." Sam paused. "Well, kind of not your ordinary family. But they're good people. They're gonna give you everything they know how."

No gurgles greeted this statement. Sam looked down, stretching and crunching his neck at the same time so he could see. If the closed eyes and open, drooling mouth were any indication, the baby was asleep. Fast asleep.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Afternoon siesta..." he yawned, shifted them both a little. Neither of them woke up until the door started rattling with the keys in the lock and Michael's shoulder pushing it through its warped frame.

"Oh..." Sam struggled to sit up without dislodging the baby. "Hey, Mike. Everything go okay?"

"Everything went fine, are you ..." Fiona was coming in behind Michael. "Sam!"

"It's fine, it's fine, see? This is my bottle. This is his..."

It didn't work as well on the adults for some reason as it had on the baby. He cleared his throat as Alan started to wake up, setting the beer down and getting both hands on the kid and handing him off to his father, keeping the baby between himself and Fiona. If it came to that she wouldn't attack him while the baby was between them. Afterwards... well, he'd just have to count on Mike to have his back. And talk fast. "All right, I gave him his bottle around four, we had a nap after that, which is about when you came in, I'm just gonna go and get a refill on my bottle and we can talk about how the job went, right? Yeah, okay."

"Sam..." But Michael went quiet again as Alan exchanged hands, holding his son against his chest. It really was a pretty adorable sight. Not one Sam had ever thought he'd see, but adorable.

"Oh, yeah, Mike, I think he needs to be changed."

Michael held up his son at arm's length and looked down. Sam was right of course, and more than that, Alan had left him a little reminder on the lower front of his shirt. They really needed to get a better brand of diaper. One that didn't leak. He'd just go and get some and give the parents some alone time with their kid. Michael did not look at all appreciative of this.

"Thanks, Sam."

"No problem, Mikey!"