Его первое год, тоже. -> Your noun is in masculine. The numerical should be, too. ;)
Конечно это беспокоил его. -> Here, the subject is in neutral, but the verb is in masculine - the verb should change.
он не говорил об этах сутках, никогда. -> этих (the noun is plural, the qualifier should be, too)
Если не она говорила -> она не говорила
So, three out of the four corrections are coordination. Which is a pain in the ass. (And I'm leaving two of them to do yourself. So you don't feel bad that I'm doing your work for you!)
no subject
Конечно это беспокоил его. -> Here, the subject is in neutral, but the verb is in masculine - the verb should change.
он не говорил об этах сутках, никогда. -> этих (the noun is plural, the qualifier should be, too)
Если не она говорила -> она не говорила
So, three out of the four corrections are coordination. Which is a pain in the ass. (And I'm leaving two of them to do yourself. So you don't feel bad that I'm doing your work for you!)
Not bad. Again, comprehensible.
... fucking plants.