Apr. 7th, 2017

kittydesade: Stippled light shining through curtains onto a couch or bed bracketed by white pillows. (hideaway)
Well the day started off great when the boy and I nearly got run off the side of a fifty foot bridge, that was fun. At least work wasn't terribly busy, there was a thing or two that happened but nothing much I couldn't handle. Lots of odds and ends and fiddly bits. It's making me lose focus a bit ... okay, I'm losing focus a lot. It's just that it's about 70% events exhaustion and 30% small fiddly bits at work.

Everything to do with politics is exhausting. Gorsuch is exhausting. Was exhausting, I suppose that's done now. The Syria bombing is exhausting, and the things I want to say aren't printable because half of them are advocating for felonies. The fact that we have to deal with this asshole for another three years and nearly nine months is ... I can't think about it or I'll go mad. Trying to figure out what I should be calling my Senator about next is exhausting.

I'm trying not to stress buy or stress eat. Stress eating is going surprisingly well, or rather the not stress eating. Stress buying... slightly less so, my bank account is closer to the wire than it should be for not getting paid for a week, but a good chunk of that is also because of taxes. So I feel less bad. I'm trying, it's a goddamn struggle that's bigger and more painful than I want it to be but I'm trying not to buy new shinies to make myself feel better, to remind myself that I have plenty of yarn, plenty of books, plenty of ability to make my own sweets with minimal financial outlay for ingredients. I'm making my own sugar scrub today instead of buying some! Spa products were the other thing that knocked my bank balance the rest of the way down, but the ones I got should either last for a year or provide me with an idea of what to get on my birthday when that money happens.

(Come to think of it I need to make a list of things I will buy with birthday money or I'll just go after the new shinies at the time.)

[personal profile] lireavue and I are doing a girls' spa night in tonight because we're both fucking exhausted. At this point I think we're going to make it an every two weeks thing. Which means you get me writing down my O3 (Order Of Operations) here so that I remember it because with my brain the way it is I am going to fucking forget when I get home.

Spa stuff O3 )

I'm so tired, and I don't feel hopeful at all even though no part of my brain that parses logic says there's an imminent disaster headed our way. I think I just don't feel hopeful that it's going to be anything other than a long and miserable slog for four fucking years. Complete with endless trauma for everyone in the US and to an I don't know what degree out of it, and ... and. And everything.

But there will be a spa night, and warm cookies, and I will keep writing stories that people seem to find fun, and keep tweeting to remind people to do things to take care of themselves because maybe then I will remember too. And I will hope that's enough.


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