Apr. 6th, 2017

kittydesade: A small stack of books tied together with string, a blue book is the top book with a card with a blue heart on top. (always something to be read)
I'm still not sure why I'm so goddamn tired today. Apart from politics, which continues to make me tired and seethe. And I have no idea what the hell is going on in Venezuela other than apparently a coup, but I just translated a couple of tumblr posts about people getting beaten and arrested for walking past a protest. So, um. That's happening.

I did manage to get one scene that I'd started writing yesterday concluded, started a second scene, and then realized that when I'd had the girls going home I should have actually had them going to New York because Fashion week had started up. Fortunately I hadn't gotten much written when I realized that, but still oy. So I backtracked, edited it to be the family's New York house, fixed that...

... and found myself in a stew of research about what actually happens on fashion week and I guess I know what I'm watching tonight. (If you guessed it's documentaries about the fashion world on Netflix you get a cookie. A homemade cookie because the world is shit right now and there should be cookies.)

(... maybe I really am that chick from Stranger Than Fiction.)

Ironically the only thing going right this week is that my weight is easing back down from full stress-binge-eating all-the-carbs-and-sweets oh-god-oh-god-we're-all-going-to-die. And not because I'm now too depressed or saddened or whatever to eat, I'm eating reasonably and keeping an eye on things, but I'm also moving more regularly and I've started doing push-ups again to build up my upper-body/core strength for capoeira. At a guess some combination of that is getting me back to the shape I was in. So that's a blessing.

Heh. Push-ups. I started doing push-ups again, I could barely do three in a row. But after a few days of doing them I could probably do five sets of four again, so that's also a relief, I don't think I lost much in the way of muscle tone there, or at least not for the long term. I just need to build it back up again and then push past where I had been, and probably practice my balance at handstands and headstands. Bit by bit. And preferably in the moments when the boy's at home so he can spot me because at least 75% of my fear of practicing headstands is oh my god what if I fall and break my neck.

I did have some sweet moments on the bus today that shored up my faith that we'll get through this. The US? My town? I don't know who we is in this context, but today it was freezing and windy at the bus station and fourteen of us just stood there waiting while a man in a motorized scooter slowly maneuvered his scooter onto the bus and got himself situated and strapped in. Not a word of complaint, not a step forward in impatience, nothing. We all just stood there until he was in, and then politely lined up and got on. And then I was playing pokemon on the bus and a man interrupted me to ask a question about the game, I explained, he listened, thanked me, and then we both went back to our business.

One thing I do regret about editing and working on so many things this year to try and bring them to a finish is that I feel like I have no more time to read. Research books or for fun either fiction or nonfiction or whatever. I need to stop that, and I need to make time to read, but today I'm not sure when that'll be. Or maybe I just need to not wait until I have time to read a book in one sitting and say okay, today I'm just going to read a chapter of this. That's probably the better idea.


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