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And then there wasn't any Russian because I never started it under the assumption that I'd be interrupted halfway through by a phone call for a phone interview for pre-approval for a loan, only fifteen minutes later the guy still hadn't called, so fuck that. Why the fuck is it so hard to get pre-approval for a loan these days? Or at least, why the fuck do banks move so goddamn slowly? We were supposed to have the pre-approval letter from Bank 1 by the end of the week last week. Grumble snarl. I want this freaking pre-approval letter so we can make the moves I want to make. Chew froth rage. Not that I'm being a bit neurotic or nervous about this or anything.

Right. I have other things to be neurotic about, though. I need to do a modly thing for Witches BigBang and do Spanish, and then I need to work on, hmm, today, let's see. Triumvirate faction sheet and fixing that outline, and then another Long Road chapter tonight. That's enough extra work to do today.

I did, in fact, start an Emma/adult!Stranger!Bae fic the other afternoon. Between checking crap in at work and handling other things that came up. We got a huge order of weaving yarn to fucking New Zealand that has even more complications you would not believe. I hardly believe it. Today, hopefully some more progress can go on that, and some more progress on other things, and guh. My brain is just so scattered right now. Not even routines-wise, my routines are in fairly good shape although I did swap dance video for other exercises this morning and that worked better. Which just goes to remind me that general workout works better as a starter than specific. But also just in terms of, the things I want to concentrate on are both too numerous and too emotionally involved for me to be able to sift through them and pull the right one up at the right time. Meh. This irritates me.

Well. One thing at a time, really. Getting to work first, and then doing one thing at a time, and so on. And not being pissy because I ended up not doing Russian because someone at Quicken is a fuckmuppet.

Oh, hey, something else I did think of. If you read a story in progress, and you're all "Okay, this is well written, but I just can't buy the basic premise"... why would you then bookmark it presumably for later reading? I was irritated for about a minutes or two, now I'm just bemused. Well, if they don't find it plausible, they can either read or not read, as they like it, I'm damn well not going to rewrite 10k of story just because one person finds it implausible. I just. Bzuh?

　　　　　

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There. Modly duties discharged for the nonce, updated posted in Juke Joint Jezebel, and some other stuff done. And now filing and emails and blah. I have also remembered to get quarters, and made an appointment with a mortgage counselor person with my Big Evil Bank and emailed the city inspector guy to ask about his help in finding an inspector. Like a motherfucking adult.

... I apologize in advance for anyone this might offend. But at the moment I am so, so sick of the GOP circus that is their primary run that this had me laughing to the point of tears. Vote Canada Party in 2012? It plays on so many stereotypes from both countries and I think I needed that tongue in cheek gentle lambasting. Oh yes.

Oogh. It's funny how this whole housebuying adventure is affecting my thinking. I'm not losing the big parts per se, but I'm losing the little bits. The whys and wherefores of things, little details, my ability to pay attention and analyze and cope on the smaller, more minute level. This is resulting in way more frazzle than I want. And yet I suppose the plus side to this is, if it were going any slower, I might still be this frazzled and it would take forever and a data figure to get my head on straight. The way it's going, it's slower than I want it to be but just fast enough that there's measurable progress and I'm not chewing my fingers off trying to distract myself.

.... at this point, though, I think I'd just as soon have the peace and quiet of mind. Or more sleep.

　　　　　

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Oof. Not as good of a writing evening as I wanted it to be, Long Road is coming really sluggishly. Which, since I'm doing these sort of daily writing meditations, I think is because I'm feeling not nearly as confident in my ability to convey Nameless's story in a way that makes sense and is interesting to readers. With the housebuying taking up much of my surface brain and anxiety, it obscures a lot of the lower down anxieties that I'm feeling about this whole endeavor, and it becomes way easier to push it off to the side. Still, progress was made. I'm not sure how to conquer that particular voice except to stomp on it and keep writing, one bit at a time. If I can get to the end of the scene tonight I'll be doing pretty well, especially if I manage not to go over my bedtime by more than 10 minutes or so.

You can tell I'm having anxiety issues about writing when I'd rather set up a budget spreadsheet for me and the boy than write. I hate money things, especially these days. Not so much the conspicuous lack of it as the wariness of what might happen in the future.

Did manage to get not only another section of Juke Joint Jezebel posted, I also managed to get a good start on the next section! Without too much effort, either, that just sort of popped in my head as I was working. So, hopefully that can get back to a once a week thing, it's not like that many scenes go into each chapter and that's a day, maybe two's worth of focus on it in any given week. I also worked some on a Sherlock fic that's also melannen's fault, and other than that it was mostly Long Road and a bit of working on the Triumvirate faction sheet. Which is now down to making up individual characters, which actually probably means I should go back to the outline, fix that up, and use that as a jumping off point for more characters, more world development.

This is what goes on behind the giant fantasy novels and science fiction epics, kids. Or rather, if you're me it does. I approach this world-building shit a lot more functionally than I used to, which is to say, a functional approach, not specifically that I function better. Functional anthropology. Blame my college years.

And finally, I bring you:



DOG WITH SUBWOOFERS.
(And Betty White dual-wielding lightsabers in the comments.)