kittydesade: (annoyed guerrero)
日本語 )


Holy shit, Human Target. Wow. I... have to say I didn't see at least one of those coming. Not to mention, two hours. Huh. I forgot that they were doing that. Debateable whether or not this is a good thing. That said, Guerrero still amuses me, and we're still getting tidbits about his past, so I guess I can look past wanting to slap everyone else at various points in the show. Except Winston, surprisingly. I haven't wanted to slap Winston. Ames, Ilsa, and Chance all are coming in for corrective precussive maintenance at some point.

Anyway. Um. No, no real um. Guitar is kicking my ass, or at least my fingers. However, cocoa butter on my fingertips post-playing is actually, I think, doing well to not give me split skin where my calluses are forming.

(I love you Guerrero. I love you so much.)

Um. I'm sure I had something else to say, but I've forgotten it by now. My fingertips hurt, I need to write, then make my bento and go to bed. And figure out what I was going to tell y'all in the morning. Apart from, I love Human Target. It amuses me so much. And now I ship Guerrero/chick from Osaka. Whoever she is. I'm picturing someone very Shadowrunnery. ... Right. Writing, not drooling over Guerrero or babbling otherwise. Really.
kittydesade: (i'm no angel (nopejr))
Title: Epic Meerkat
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: Guerrero, Chance
Word Count: 486
Rating: G
Summary: Epic meerkats. Chance must be dreaming.
A/N: This is what happens when you let me stay up too late. Inspired by this. Written for [community profile] mundane_bingo prompt "Sleeping late"

Chance heard the music. He even thought he knew what it was. Some movie soundtrack they kept using on commercials. It faded in and out, just loud enough to catch his attention and not loud enough to keep him awake. He blamed Ames and went back to sleep.

When he woke up the second time he had morning breath circulating and re-circulating inside his mouth. His eyes felt full of crust, which was easily wiped away, but he definitely wanted something to drink. The music was still there, but quieter. Maybe Ames had moved to another room. The sun was shining in at a steep enough angle that it had to be noon, maybe early afternoon. No one had woken him up for about twelve hours. Must have needed the sleep.

He came down the stairs still scrubbing his eyes and looked around for Ames or whoever else was there. And he was about to turn the corner when he blinked and looked back over.

"Guerrero?"

"Yeah, dude?"

"What are you doing?"

One eyebrow crept up, but the smaller man didn't look over at him. He kept looking at the meerkat. The meerkat, standing on the table, looked back at him.

Chance blinked. "I'm still asleep, aren't I."

His body jerked him awake. The sort of twitching motion that felt like it should have been a full-on body spasm or jerking upright but wasn't. There was music playing in the background. Probably what had given him that weird dream. No more Nature Channel before bed.

He scrubbed his eyes and headed down the stairs for breakfast, or lunch by now. He'd slept later than he'd meant to.

Chance turned the corner towards the kitchen, then turned around and stared. "Guerrero."

"Yeah, dude?"

"What are you doing?"

One eyebrow crept up, but the smaller man didn't look over at him. He kept looking at the meerkat. The meerkat, standing on the table, looked back at him.

After a second Guerrero made some sort of noise and pulled a slender, small knife out of a pocket. "There you are..." he muttered, and picked at something in the meerkat's throat. The meerkat didn't move; Chance realized it was dead and stuffed. He came closer, a little weirded out by the whole thing. Now that he looked closer, yeah, it was obviously dead and stuffed.

"Where did you get that?"

The tip of his tongue poked out of the smaller man's mouth for a second as he pried the camera out from under a tuft of hair on the thing's throat. "Ames grabbed it. Got a new case. Guy thinks he's being stalked. Looks like he's right." Guerrero held up the camera for Chance's inspection.

"Huh." Chance took it, blinked at it, at Guerrero. "I thought... Huh."

Guerrero frowned. "You okay, dude?"

"Yeah..." he shook his head, trying to clear it. "Think I slept too long. Had the weirdest dream..."
kittydesade: (nameless is dubious)
Русский язык )

Wall o' Russian grammar! Augh!

There seems to be something very bizarre and unfriendly going on in the Human Target fandom, or at least a section of it. I'm not sure I like it. Misogyny is something you get used to when you have ... well, when you're a person who pays attention, and I kind of expected it to come up when the show introduced two female characters into what was previously a boys' club, but damn. That's a lot of oh this show sucks now I'm not watching it anymore from people I previously agreed with.

I do think some shows work better as a boys' club. A-Team did. Oz, from what I understand, did. Human Target worked fine as a boys' club, but I think now that the new showrunner seems to be settling down and some of the problems are starting to even out, it seems like the women will integrate just fine. The premise of the show, unlike A-Team, isn't predicated on a concept that is inherently male-dominated. Not the military, not a man's prison, not a boys' school. It's a bunch of pseudo-legal criminals and an ex-cop. No, I don't like the overtones of UST between Chance and Ilsa, and yes Ames is irritating, but she seems to be written to be irritating. Which makes for some amusing interaction between her and Guerrero. And in the last episode, she's grown up a bit. Everyone seems to be settling into telling a good story again. And yet, people are complaining. The show didn't need women. Guerrero and Ames are going to hook up (I so don't see where this is coming from), Guerrero's been neutered (what??) because he isn't immediately abandoning Ames Blah blah most rececnt episode )

And that was a really, really long ramble. Wow. Probably most of it I said yesterday too.

My kitten remains problematic. Although I think he's slowly figuring out that just because we go into another room we're not completely abandoning him. He still likes human food, but since Maggie grew out of that I'm thinking Murdock probably will too.

And as of probably a week from today I will be DEBT FREE. NO MORE STUDENT LOANS. BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER. At least a quarter of that extra per-month money is getting dumped into savings, though, before I get used to having it. No point in blowing it all. I'm not sure what to do else, but I'm going to keep a careful eye on my budget to make sure I don't go completely nuts now. Happy dance of no debt-ness! I seriously didn't expect this to happen for, um. Several years, anyway.
kittydesade: (walking on sunshine)
Русский язык )

I love this Russian book. It has review built in. I was just saying how I needed to go back and review the last four chapters, and look! The next four pages are genitive review!



Oof. It's really getting bloody cold here. It's below freezing right now, at a time when I'm usually getting ready to walk over to carpool to work. There might be snow eventually, which will be nice, but, brr! On the other hand this also gives me an excuse to knit ALL THE THINGS. And spin. And knit. And do funky stuff with wool and things.

And have a cat on my back, evidently. Hi, Murdock.

Human Target was pretty awesome. The writers need to be smacked about a few things, but then, most writers this season do. )

Okay, I'm kind of liking having Murdock on my back. He's warm, he's pleasant, he feels good. He's purring. Sadly, I have to get up in another minute and start moving, getting my shit towards the door. I could stay like this for a while. Especially if he actually lets me get my exercises in like he did this morning. Woot! It's the start of a good day.
kittydesade: (no fear)
Title: Elemental
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: Katherine Walters, Christopher Chance
Word Count: 2,078
Rating: PG
Summary: Katherine and Christopher Chance: Their relationship in a four-element theme. Introspective.



For a day that felt like it was going to storm, the water was awfully calm. The wind was cold, but she was bundled up enough that it only bit at her cheeks and knuckles, and the tips of her ears. Katherine sat on the edge of the boat after her friend had gone, running the tips of her fingers through the lapping waves at the edge and remembering the pressure of his lips on hers.

It was easier than remembering how her life had been turned upside down and inside out, how he'd come into her life and handed her a gun and not blinked when she pointed it at him after telling her he'd come there to kill her.

"This is crazy," she mumbled to herself, for the third time in the last twelve hours or so. "This is completely insane."

Read more... )
kittydesade: (nochnoi dozor)
Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for [community profile] scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant [personal profile] kikibug13

"Is it Alisa?" Which was the first thing on her mind. The Day Watch and the Night Watch, especially in Moscow but she had heard of it happening in other cities as well, were very fond of backstabbing. And plotting. To the point where it was joked that Gesser and Zavulon couldn't follow a straight path if it was a line painted on a road.

But Anton made a thinking noise and then, "No. No, I don't think so. The Day Watch is as interested in stopping these kidnappers as much as we are. But this isn't the only country these kidnappers are working in. Just the first one."

Tiger Cub could feel the headache starting in her forehead and temples. "The first one?"

"Other children are going missing. In the Vancouver area, England, northern Africa. And Moscow."

Read more... )
kittydesade: (its wednesday dude!)
Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for [community profile] scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant [personal profile] kikibug13



One of the techs in the Day Watch of San Francisco had tripped over something in the Tenderloin. Close enough to home that it was making Chance and his friend nervous, not close enough to anything like a lead to force them to explain to Winston what they were doing. Chance and Winston were playing plain clothes detective and going door to door, apartment to apartment. Alisa was pretending to be a prostitute, which caused Tiger Cub no end of amusement and her Day Watch counterpart no end of grief. The shapeshifter herself was up a pole and poking in a power box, using their old ruse of working for a utility company as an excuse for why she was around.

Chance knew she was there. So did the short assassin, but Winston had no idea. She wondered if they should let him know.

Too late now.

Read more... )
kittydesade: (nochnoi dozor)
Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for [community profile] scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant [personal profile] kikibug13



Maggie frowned at the red ball of clay as though trying to understand why it wasn't turning into anything other than a red ball of clay. Which wasn't far from the truth, though inverted. It was a red ball of clay, she didn't understand why they thought it would turn into anything else. Things were things. They couldn't be changed or altered unless you did things to them, not stared at them.

"I don't understand..." she looked up and told the man who was staring down at her, but he didn't seem like he was going to repeat the directions. He wasn't even looking at her.

"Fine," she muttered after a second or two of waiting. "Don't help. Buttface."

She was supposed to turn it into something else. She wasn't sure how to do that.

It occurred to her that they had given her a lump of clay.

Read more... )
kittydesade: (anton is my anti-drug)
Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for [community profile] scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant [personal profile] kikibug13


"You didn't tell your friend about the Night Watch."

She had to raise her voice a little to be heard. The small man had taken them out to an overpass where he said they would be able to meet a contact of his who would know anything about human trafficking, if there was anything to know. Tiger Cub doubted that he would know anything about the trafficking of Others, but at this point any lead would do. The San Francisco team didn't seem to have anyone on their staff who was older than sixty, which possibly had something to do with this being the newer part of a new country.

No, the reason didn't matter, but their combined lack of experience did. For the seventeenth time she wondered what in hell Boris Ignatievich had been thinking, sending her out there, instead of calling on someone with more experience or asking one of the more local watches to take part.

"You didn't tell your friends about our operation."

Tiger Cub shrugged. "They're not my friends." Which was true, though that was as far as she was prepared to go with him. Alisa was Day Watch, and the rest were Americans.

Read more... )
kittydesade: (annoyed guerrero)
Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for [community profile] scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant [personal profile] kikibug13


It was dark, it was cold, and something was dripping.

Not that it was a cave, like she pretended it was. With her eyes closed she could almost feel the stone walls and the moss of her imagination. But she was on a bunk, a rickety old bunk slapped together with timbers and half-penny nails, in a place that was well put together enough that she figured they weren't going to hurt them or kill them. And she'd been here for a little while, so they had time to, well. Um.

If they were going to, that is. She didn't think they were.

That was all she knew about this place, though. It could have been anywhere. The walls rattled with the sounds of an air conditioner or a heater, and they both sounded the same, so she couldn't tell which it was. And in between the sounds behind the walls were the sounds coming from under the blankets and in the bunks, and under the bunks sometimes. The sounds of other children sniffling, crying.

Read more... )
kittydesade: (nochnoi dozor)
Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for [community profile] scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant [personal profile] kikibug13


Tiger Cub's eyes flared open for just a second when she woke up, before she made herself relax and feign sleep again. Still, no one was there, or at least she didn't see anyone in the quick glimpse she had of the room. It was cluttered, with dust motes in the air, but many of the surfaces looked clean and often used. She was on some sort of couch, tucked in with a ragged old blanket that smelled like dog.

The dog in question came up and started licking her face a few moments later. It was hard to keep up the ruse of sleep under that assault.

"All right, all right, dog," she laughed, pushing it away and sitting up. Him, she noted, upon more glimpsed inspection. Pushed him away till he jumped up onto the couch with her and looked up expectantly. "All right, you can be petted."

"His name's Carmine," came a voice from over her shoulder, in accented but comprehensible Russian. Tiger Cub spun, disgorging the dog from the couch.

Read more... )
kittydesade: (hey dude)
Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for [community profile] scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant [personal profile] kikibug13


"I have a mission for you, my dear."

Tiger Cub leaned her head back in the seat and rolled it from side to side, restless. She hated flying. Semyon was driving her to the airport and consoling her with platitudes and offerings of sing-alongs. It wasn't working.

"Boris Ignatievich can..."

"Tsst." Semyon shushed her. There was a better than even chance that their fearless leader would hear her, especially when he had just summoned her to headquarters. It was a wise thing to do, but it did nothing for her ill temper. And it did nothing for her curiosity and her suspicion regarding this latest mission.

Anatoly was in the computers again. She tugged his belt as she went past, and he yelped.

"What are you working on?"

Read more... )
kittydesade: (fragile heart)
Title: Discipline
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: Joubert, Star (OFC)
Word Count: ~1800
Rating: R
Summary: Joubert, unhappy with his boy, hires a prostitute to relieve his frustration.
A/N: Written for [community profile] kink_bingo prompt "Caning". Contains hard/violent BDSM scenario.

She truly was a beautiful woman. Like a sculpture of what a real woman should be, sensual curves and fine skin. He appreciated his boy's taste in most things, refined as it was, but this was a stroke of luck or genius, Joubert wasn't sure which.

He'd contacted her six weeks after Junior was done. Enough time to make sure the boy hadn't formed any undue attachments. And he waited till Junior was out on a mission so that wouldn't interfere with his weekend, either. Baptiste wouldn't be a problem. He knew when to leave the old man alone and only contact him in case of emergency. Joubert left a phone number and took his sat-phone up to the cabin with him. Cabin being a slight misnomer anyway, it was a remote but elaborate house up in the hills of the Pacific Northwest. He flew her out there to meet him rather than confront her in her own territory. Economy class. He was curious, but not that curious.

And here she was, satisfying his curiosity. Along with other urges.

"Turn around."

Read more... )
kittydesade: (i'm no angel (nopejr))
My webspace is updated sort of yay.

So, for a while, [livejournal.com profile] adsartha has been linking me to these posts whereby fandom characters are put in ordinary situations, and they're always hilarious. But then something happened in RP recently which led to this completely unrelated-to-the-RP thought, what would happen if Dean and Cassie's daughter (in this world in which they're together) brought her boyfriend home for the first time? And, you know. This reminded me of a similar situation I'd thought of elsewhere, and it springboarded from there.

So.

Cassie, if her daughter brought her boyfriend home for the first time, would be utterly calm. And she would be taking the shotgun away from Dean when he answered the door. And then when the boys sat down she would be taking the pistol away from Dean. And when she leaned over to give him a kiss she would take the knife away from him too.

She would, however, spike the boy's soda/water/drink with holy water. Just to make sure. And make sure her daughter had mace or pepperspray and a silver dagger in her purse, and knew her exorcisms and angel-banishing rituals beforehand.


Guerrero would be lounging on the couch in the boyfriend's house when he got home to change before prom/the date, pistol in one hand, and greet him with a quiet "Hey, dude."


Anyone else want to play?
kittydesade: (Default)
Title: Wayfaring Stranger
Fandom: Human Target
Prompt: Human Target, the team, Guerrero is captured and for once can't think his way out of it; Chance and Winston are going to get him back and will not be playing nice. Torture.
Characters: Winston, Chance, Guerrero, Eve (OC), Dawn (OC)
Word Count: ~4,760
Rating: R for violence
Summary: Guerrero was trying to help Chance without him knowing. Getting kidnapped and tortured kind of hampers that.


They don't tell you about interrogation rooms.

The light bulb wasn't swinging. The table wasn't metal. The floor was carpet underneath the plastic wrap they had laid down to catch the blood. The chair he was tied to was solid, and probably expensive.

It was somebody's house. Or it had been. Before they'd taken over.

He didn't know who they are, although he could make a pretty good guess by the way they spoke. By the way they moved. By the patterns they beat into him in intervals.

Different people from different secret police around the world had different interrogation techniques. Different places they liked to go for.

And what does it say about me that I know this?

I'm too old for this shit.

Read more... )
kittydesade: (Default)
Title: Where the Children are Free
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: The unseen mother and child, referenced in ep 1x08 Baptiste
Word Count: 672
Rating: PG
Summary: Mother and young daughter have a conversation about the man not in their life.
A/N: Spoilers for 1x08 Baptiste, though if you know who I'm not naming here you probably already saw it, and if you don't, you probably haven't and are very confused.

Mommy? )
kittydesade: (Default)
Title: Miss Kitty and the Pocket Ninja
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: Guerrero, Winston, Chance, Eve (OC), Dawn (OC)
Word Count: 2,528 this section
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A stripper by the name of "Miss Kitty" needs help with her baby sister. Naturally, she calls her friendly neighborhood assassin.
A/N: Crack and shameless Mary Sues. Part 1


"All right, who was that, and what was all that about?"

Chance looked up as they came in bickering or, well. Winston was grumbling at volume, as usual. Guerrero was blithely taking every quiet opportunity to provoke him. Also as per usual.

"Yeah, what was that about?" he offered, to draw their attention away from each other and over to him. They were both good friends, good guys, but they got along like oil and water. Or maybe potassium and water. Something explosive.

"He dragged me to a strip club."

Read more... )
kittydesade: (Default)
Title: Only Animals
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: Guerrero, Chance
Word Count: 1,005
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Guerrero's in the hot box. This is not a drill.
A/N: Torture porn. Written for [livejournal.com profile] dubiousmethods

"I hold at your neck a gom jabbar. This one kills only animals."
-- Dune



It was probably a good thing Guerrero was as small as he was. Chance would have found this kind of prison uncomfortable. Winston would have found it excruciating, but then Winston never went out and got his hands dirty, did he.

The mercenary folded his fingers together over his knee and scowled.

Read more... )
kittydesade: (Default)
Deutsch: One exercise, one later )

Not enough Guerrero. That's all I gotta say about tonight's Human Target. Not enough Guerrero. I want my pocket ninja.

But at least I'm getting back on the writing track! And I went down after work today and washed my wool some, so there's that. Hopefully tomorrow I can wash it a little more (oh my god that water was absolutely gross and full of oil and dirt and stuff) so that it's all pretty and gray-white and ready to be carded. And then I get to card it. And then next Tuesday I get to poke around with it and maybe spin some!

Oogh. But first I have to a) catch up on my writing because, dammit, this will not be the first week I fall behind! And b) survive this freaking cold snap. Ugh.

(Also, I've discovered a cadre of Jackie Earle Haley fans more fanatic than I am. I have also discovered his Twitter. I'm not sure what this says about me or them, but, hey, he seems like a sweet guy. For a freaking scary pocket ninja.)

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
kittydesade: (facepalm - dean)
Title: Miss Kitty and the Pocket Ninja
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: Guerrero, Winston, Chance (eventually), Eve (OC), Dawn (OC)
Word Count: 1,863 so far
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A stripper by the name of "Miss Kitty" needs help with her baby sister. Naturally, she calls her friendly neighborhood assassin.
A/N: Crack and shameless Mary Sues. No one cares, so I get to do what I want. Part 2

Two men walked into a gentlemen's club.

One was tall, broad, and black, dressed and pressed in a suit that looked a little too fancy for the venue. The other was short, kind of lean, and very white, looking a little too dirty for the venue. The larger man looked uncomfortable with everything about the place. The smaller man looked at home with everything about himself, and thereby with the place in which he found himself.

"This is a strip club," said the larger man. The bouncer by them snickered long enough for both of them to turn and give him a look.

The smaller man's grin was half-hidden by the mustache. "Why, so it is, you know, I don't think I'd noticed that."

'Why are we in a strip club?' )

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