Jan. 13th, 2017

kittydesade: (wiseman)
Ugh politics. Ugh intelligence. Not the thinking analyzing critically watching kind, the espionage kind. Ugh everything. And at this point so much has been happening that it's impossible to summarize or point at any one thing that's bothering me, I just want to throttle everyone. And possibly wade in and fix it because I'm reasonably sure my analytical mind could help. Also that the stress might literally kill me. I'm sure they have plenty of competent people over there and the clearance and proving time would completely make it not worth it. Plus I like my life, house, boyfriend, job, here.

I just. Really want to smack everyone.

I do have four books from the library to read bringing me up to seven or so books that I'm now going to be in the middle of. This needs to change seriously, which means I need to find focus from somewhere. It's not going to happen anytime in a hurry, but maybe it'll happen as I start being more mindful about not halfassing ten things at once. Full ass. Both cheeks. It's a thing. It's only going to be a more dangerous thing as shit gets darker and grittier.

I don't like this dark gritty reboot of the US either, can I have a different reboot? Maybe something by Javi or Bryan Fuller or, god help me, I would take a reboot from Baz Luhrmann before this Kurt Sutterish US. (Baz Lurhmann is a fully competent director I just don't like his style. At all. I like Strictly Ballroom and that's about it.)

I did get reasonably far at least with edits last night, and did do some of my languages, so routines are holding steady. The house isn't in fact a complete pigsty, and we're slowly accumulating things to make it stay Not A Pigsty as I get better about figuring out how things need to be organized. I have to think of it this way or I'll scream, but it's also kind of true. I figured out that the spices being where they are just makes a routinely bigger mess, so they got moved. I got one kind of bookend that didn't work so now all the piles of books are carefully bookended. Remembering to put away my language books when I'm done is slowly taking root. Putting away one to three things every time I get off the couch is also slowly taking root. Bit by bit. Another ten years and I might be a civilized human being with a neat residence. >.>

(Not as long as I have cats I won't.)

I don't know. Annoyance with politics and low-level fear aside, I do feel like I have mostly a handle on things. Which isn't a place I expected to be in right now. The things that are bugging me (sleeping way too long, being scatterbrained) have answers. The physical things I shuffle around every day are slowly being sorted. I really have no idea how long this feeling like I've got it all together is going to last, either because it never does or because the world is profoundly fucked up right now. I hope it does, though.

Back to work. So many books to write. And read. And page things to code. And I need to start making to-do lists again so that I can keep it all straight in my head and keep going. Already have all the weapons that I need, and so on.

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